on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize