so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
