Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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