Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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