so that wasnt chicken after all
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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