I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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