A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Acid is not a monday night drug
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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