You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
