We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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