I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
