Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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