Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
