TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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