This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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