I love watching others lives come down to our level.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
