She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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