Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
