R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
