How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize