No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
