i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
