he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize