Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
