I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
