I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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