How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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