Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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