1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
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