For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
