My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
they're like a gay fantastic four
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
