just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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