Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize