I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
