What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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