then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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