how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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