the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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