true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
