ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
