Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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