Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
