i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
