standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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