I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
