Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
