Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
