Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
