i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
