Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
