all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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