i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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