shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
