Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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