this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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