You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have aggressive nipples.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
