Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
