I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
