I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
smell my finger.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Randomize
