i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
