he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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