you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize