im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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