So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
