You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize