You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
