So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize